Where to retire, When to retire? How much money do I need? How to survive the early retirement? Should I retire or work longer? Should I withdraw my Social Security now or wait?
How Moving Can Help Cope with the
Loss of a Loved One
By: Karen Weeks
Losing
a loved one is a major life event that can leave a person feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and unable to cope.
While tackling some major changes soon after can be a bad idea, some people
feel that a move can actually be helpful. Removing yourself from a situation
that reminds you of your loved one can help you focus on your mental health,
and a new environment will allow you to meet new people and move forward in a
positive way. Boomers Retirement shares a few ideas on how you can
make the most of the benefits of moving after the loss of a loved one.
Reduce the Stress of Buying a Home
Moving
comes with a lot to think about, but if you prepare for the big things ahead of
time, you can reduce the stress associated with finding a new place. One of the
most important parts of a move is finding funding for your home, and there are
many different options when it comes to securing a mortgage. Figure out a budget and do
research to find out which option is best for your needs.
The
last thing you need during this time is to purchase a home with a lot of
problems. Therefore, it’s best to avoid buying a home “as is” even if it
seems like you’re getting a good deal. These homes have major issues, and you
may encounter pest infestations, mold, asbestos, structural problems, and more.
Ask for Help
One
important aspect of moving forward after losing a loved one is deciding how to
deal with the things they left behind. You may be faced with clothing or other personal items of theirs that will make it
difficult for you to consider moving on, so it’s a good idea to ask for help
from a close friend or family member who can help you sort through those
belongings and figure out the best place for them. Donating items to those in need is a great start
because you can be assured that the things your loved one treasured will still
have importance for someone else.
Also,
when it comes to the actual move, don’t try to do everything yourself. You’re
better off hiring professionals to lend a helping hand. You can browse ratings and reviews
and request a quote in advance to make sure you’re getting the best deal, as
well.
Talk to Someone
It’s
a good idea to look for someone you can talk to in your new area about
everything you’ve gone through. A licensed therapist or counselor can help you
get through your loss so you can transition to a new lifestyle more smoothly.
Remember that the goal is not to forget about your loved one, but rather to
make it easier for you to accept that they are gone so you can move forward in
a healthy way.
If
you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone in person, you might look for an online visit for mental health care. With online
treatment, you’ll have access to many more doctors, won’t have to travel
anywhere, and save if you don’t have insurance. It’s also possible to quickly
have prescriptions filled and refilled.
Making
such a major life decision after losing a loved one may seem overwhelming at
first, but it could be hugely beneficial in the long run. Remember to focus on
your mental health and ask for help from the people who are your support system
so you can feel good about your decisions.
I am going to post an article from USA Today. I think it is appropriate for today's atmosphere and
our current world affairs.
Do you feel sad and lonely? Do you feel regret about your past decision in your life?
What if you can do it over again? What would you do or change?
Well, it is not possible, so what do you do?
From my own personal experiences, there is not much you could do, however, it
is best NOT to keep it bottled up inside. (MORE LATER)
I miss everything. I miss everybody': Depression rates for seniors are soaring amid COVID-19
MARC RAMIREZ, USA TODAY
When she retired from her job as a hospital technician in 2011, Johnnie Lilly soon found that she felt lonely. She told herself: I’m going to get out and do something.
That’s how the 79-year-old Texas resident came to work with preschool kids as part of a reading program run by The Senior Source, an older-adult advocacy agency serving greater Dallas.
Then came the COVID-19 pandemic. With many schools and organizations suspending in-person operations as part of a national shutdown, the activity she’d loved was gone.
“It was so enjoyable and enlightening,” Lilly said. “The kids just gave me so much pleasure. I miss them so much. I miss all my babies.”
Even before the pandemic, advocates and health experts had warned of loneliness and social isolation among the nation’s older adult population. Now, nearly two years in, they say government mandates and precautionary measures meant to control the virus by limiting social interaction have taken an emotional, mental and physical toll.
Geriatric workers say rates of depression and anxiety have risen among their clients in that time, and in more severe cases, those conditions have led to cognitive and physical deterioration, or worse.
Snuggle therapy: Seniors get an uplifting visit from a pair of miniature horses
Faith San Severino takes her two miniature horses, Peabody and Petunia, to a senior care home in San Diego for some animal-assisted therapy.
“People experienced cognitive decline from having no stimulation, and that has persisted,” said Stacey Malcolmson, Senior Source president and CEO. “For those with underlying mental health conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s, we’ve been finding that that cognitive decline is irreversible.”
Carla Perissinotto, a geriatrician and palliative physician who works with mostly homebound patients in San Francisco, has seen similar patterns with her clients.
“There are people who used to be able to walk, and suddenly, because of weeks in their room, they lost the ability to do so,” she said. “That’s huge.”
Perissinotto served on a National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine committee that issued a February 2020 report that found one-fourth of U.S. residents 65 and over said they were socially isolated, while 40% described themselves as lonely.
While loneliness – the subjective feeling of being alone – is a growing global concern for all groups, social isolation, defined as an objective lack of social contact with others, is a particular risk for older adults.
The reasons can be summed up in one word: Loss. As years pass, seniors face loss of life partners and social networks, loss of sight and hearing, loss of travel opportunities, loss of a sense of value to society.
“They’re losing friends as they age,” said Kathleen Cameron, senior director of the National Council on Aging’s Center for Healthy Aging. “They’re no longer in the workplace. They’re experiencing an increase in disabilities like vision impairment, or they may have a chronic illness that reduces their ability to be as mobile.”
The National Academies report linked loneliness and social isolation to poor physical and mental health outcomes, from depression and cognitive decline – including a 50% higher risk of dementia – to higher mortality rates. Among heart-failure patients, loneliness was associated with a nearly fourfold increased risk of death.
With the pandemic, things only got worse.
Like Lilly, many who benefited from the social interaction of a part-time job or volunteer work saw those opportunities disappear. Even as COVID vaccines have led to eased restrictions and reopening of public places, many older adults – who are at higher risk of becoming seriously ill or dying from virus complications – remain hesitant to reenter society.
“You had fully independent people with thriving social lives who found themselves fearful of going outside,” said Meredith Levine, senior director of Jewish Association Serving the Aging, which serves 40,000 clients in New York City. “The initial anxiety has subsided, but this changing world has fostered different anxieties. This isn’t how they thought they would be spending their golden years.”
Advocacy & Services for LGBT Elders, a New-York-based organization known as SAGE, found that calls to its national LGBTQ+ elder hotline increased tenfold during the pandemic, going from 20 to 30 calls a month pre-COVID to more than 200 monthly calls now.
“Anxiety is the number-one concern,” said Sherrill Wayland, the agency’s director of national education initiatives. “People are dealing with a lot of stress.”
Lilly, the retired hospital worker, knows the feeling.
“When it all started, it was awful,” she said. “We were having to stay in, and that was the worst part, listening to the news about how many people were dying. In New York, they had all those trailers full of people; that blew my mind. I went through a phase where I was crying and praying for the families. It was very hard.”
Lilly still dreads going to the grocery store and wears a mask and gloves just to put gas in the car.
“It’s just so scary, it really is,” she said. “Now they’re saying there’s another variant coming. I’m better with it, even if it’s still dangerous. But I miss being able to hug somebody when I go into church. I miss everything. I miss everybody.”
The risks of seclusion and feeling alone
Loneliness has been rising as a global public health concern in recent years. Former U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy has called it a “growing health epidemic,” and in the U.K., Britain appointed its first minister of loneliness in 2018.
That same year, the Coalition to End Social Isolation and Loneliness (CESIL) formed in Washington, D.C., to combat what it called an American crisis. With the pandemic, the coalition of consumer groups, community and health organizations stepped up its efforts to raise awareness and push for policy changes that promote interconnectedness.
Advocates say that in addition to exacerbating potentially serious emotional and mental health issues for older adults, pandemic isolation has had other harmful effects, including raising the risk of substance abuse and susceptibility to scam artists who prey on their loneliness.
More secluded and sedentary lives have also unleashed eating binges and aggravated chronic conditions like arthritis, diabetes and high blood pressure.
“They’re not watching their diets and they’re not moving enough,” said Deborah Leibensberger, older-adult services director for Jewish Family Service of Greater Dallas.
Cameron, of the Center for Healthy Aging, said rates of alcohol and prescription drug use are also up among older adults.
“The pandemic has induced stress in all of us, and sadly substances are something people have turned to,” she said.
For those with language barriers, or from marginalized communities who might not seek out services out of fear of discrimination, isolation can be even more pronounced.
To meet the need, community and faith-based senior organizations pivoted as they ceased their brick-and-mortar offerings: Congregate meals became home deliveries. In-person programming went virtual. Volunteers stopped making home visits and checked in by phone instead.
In Dallas, Jewish Family Service of Greater Dallas now utilizes a grant-funded device that gives clients access to senior-specific TV programming such as chair yoga, concerts, lectures, cooking and travel shows.
“That has been widely popular,” Leibensberger said. “It’s like having an older-adult center in your TV.”
More common are efforts to maintain contact with clients through regular phone or video check-ins.
